What this is about
With the first contact, an idea becomes a relationship. Both sides test whether they want to keep talking, and both should remain free to decide afterwards. At the same time, the law already begins here: anyone who enters into talks about a contract must have regard to the other side’s interests.
The guiding question
How do I begin a conversation that leaves both of us free?
A good first conversation is neither a sales pitch nor an interrogation. It makes visible what each side wants and could bring, and it leaves both sides able to say no without losing face. Someone who agreed under pressure will later stick to the wording rather than the substance: they perform instead of taking part. Leaving the other free means recognising them as a partner before there is a partnership. Whether more grows from it depends on conditions discussed on the page The click and its conditions.
What helps now
State your purpose openly. Say early what you are looking for and why you are approaching this particular partner. An enquiry that hides its aim invites mistrust. And it costs the other person time if it turns out in the end that there is no fit.
Listen first. The goals of the other side are the material from which a cooperation is made. If you mainly present in the first conversation, you learn little about them. Ask what the other person is working on, what they are missing and what they would hope for from working together.
Share confidential matters only by arrangement. Not everything needs to be on the table in the first conversation. If you intend to show trade secrets, unprotected ideas or customer data, conclude a confidentiality agreement first. It protects you not only in a dispute. It is also one of the reasonable confidentiality measures that the German Trade Secrets Act (GeschGehG) requires for information to be protected as a trade secret at all (Section 2 no. 1(b) GeschGehG).
Agree on the next step, not on the cooperation. A first contact rarely ends with a yes to working together. It is good if both know what happens next: a second conversation, a short paper, a trial task or a friendly no.
The typical mistake
Too much, too soon. The whole concept is laid out in the first conversation, a commitment is expected and the pace is pushed. The other side feels pressed and withdraws, or takes the ideas and does not get back in touch. Too much caution does harm as well: the other side then cannot tell what it is really about.
Legally, another misconception is tempting: that there are no duties before a contract is signed. Yet entering into contract negotiations and preparing a contract already create a legal relationship with duties (Schuldverhältnis, Section 311(2) German Civil Code (BGB)). It requires each side to have regard to the other’s rights, legally protected interests and other interests (Section 241(2) BGB). Anyone who breaches this duty, for instance through false statements or by misusing information entrusted to them, may be liable for damages (Section 280(1) BGB). German lawyers call this culpa in contrahendo.
Online
First contact today often begins in writing and then moves to a video call. The written enquiry should be short, state your purpose and offer a conversation without demanding one.
In the first video call, sound comes first. A good microphone, a quiet room and a stable connection do more for the impression you make than lighting and background. Someone who is hard to understand comes across as unsure, even if they are not. The picture still matters: looking into the camera comes across as eye contact, but costs you the sight of the other person’s face. So you alternate: into the camera when speaking, at the screen when listening. More on this under Live online: sound, picture, roles.
An old piece of advice remains useful: say your own name clearly, the first name with a rising tone, then a short pause, the surname with a falling tone. Online this helps twice over, because a name easily blurs through a loudspeaker and the caption on screen does not reveal how it is pronounced.
Thirty minutes is often enough for the first conversation. Afterwards, summarise in a few sentences what was discussed and what happens next. That creates the first shared basis both sides can refer to.
Law in this phase
- Cooperation as a legal relationship: Which duties exist before a contract and where they come from.
- The cooperation agreement: What is agreed later, and why confidentiality can be settled separately beforehand.
- Letter of intent: When the contact turns into a shared intention that is not yet meant to be fully binding.